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Advice for newbie couples...

We all started somewhere.

If you're reading this, you may already have an interest in exploring your sexuality further. You might be interested in discovering kink, or swinging or just socialising with other like-minded couples in a different environment. What steps do you need to take first?

1. Talk to each other and discover what you're both looking for

So, what are you up for? The most important bit of advice for any couple is to communicate openly. If you're looking to start swinging because your relationship is a little stale, strained and you're not enjoying each other, then perhaps it's not the best route to take. If your relationship is built on trust and you want to discover a new adventure together - then go for it.

Why not start off with looking at what would suit you both? The Mojo Upgrade is a great way to discover your partner's secret fantasies. Have a few moments to go through the questions together and see what you're both interested in.

Perhaps you're interested in exploring your kinker side together? The BDSM test is surprisingly accurate in showing people what might get them off, even if they've never explored that side of themselves. The results page gives a breakdown of different kinks and fetishes alongside ways of exploring further.

Why not come along to one of our Newbie Couple Workshops to discuss what you're looking for. That way you'll see what it's all about and discuss with staff all those questions you've got buzzing around in your mind.

Come up with your own rules together - perhaps you're just looking for same-room play and no swapping? Perhaps you just want to explore voyeurism? Maybe you are on the hunt for the elusive unicorn? (they are not as rare as you might think!) Or perhaps you're both looking for a bit of MMF fun? Whatever you're looking for, make sure you play safe. (Don't take risks with personal safety or sexual health - meet with verified people in safe environments like clubs and always have safe sex).

2. Start setting up your profiles

The big ol' world wide web is a scary place at times - but it's also an incredible way to meet others. We always advise not to meet strangers in dodgy locations, that's why open and regulated clubs are the best method of meeting others.

Think about setting up a profile on a Swinging/Kink Meeting Website, such as FabSwingers, SocialSwinging, Kasadie, SDC or Fetlife. What do you want your profile to say about you? Don't give out personal information online (obviously) but be open about what you're looking for. Have a few good profile pictures that set out your best features (but be careful on the filters - you want to be honest with others!) Put on your profile what you're interested in exploring.

3. Visit a club

On your first visit it's best to come along with the expectation of just seeing what the environment is like. Every club is different and suit different tastes. What some may like about one club, others may find distasteful or not their thing - that's fine. Check what the dress code is beforehand to see if you'll find it comfortable for your own tastes.

Don't dive in at the deep end - there is so much to being a liberated adult couple that it's best to take little steps in exploring - you might find delicious new experiences that you've never considered before, which is always a welcome discovery! Always be open-minded and realise that it's a bit of fun to enhance an already great relationship with your partner.

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