You can keep your... socks on?

Swinging is a good way to lock up your insecurities for an evening. Talking to single friends who are on the dating scene, they are full of anxiety about their looks (not perfect) culinary habits (preference of take-away pizza over gourmet) or career (dead-end job with no prospects). They feel pressured to present themselves as heavily filetered, happy selfie, perfect-profiled people and try to keep it up, for the first few dates at least until they let slip they are actually normal people. Somehow they feel it's not good enough. Such angst pales in comparison though when it comes to long-term sexual hang-ups of penis size, pubic hair-styles and nipple colour. I try to placate them with a knowing smile, but I understand such worries are very real to them in an Instagram-filtered world. I'm lucky I found my partner before all of this rubbish reached Kardashian heights.

That's not to say that insecurities don't happen during swinging though. We might be a little more liberal when it comes to wobbles and have an extensive collection of cock-pics (warts n' all - wrong phrase of words), but that's not to say our insecurities aren't on the same level, just a little different.

Take my partner for instance. He's lovely. He's a charmer. He's attractive, knows how to please the ladies and treats them well..but, he has to keep his socks on when swinging.

Some footballers might have a pair of lucky socks, some guys have a special pair for nights out, but his sock thing is not like that. My own insecurity is being bent over a bench/chair/anyotherhelpfulfurniture which I feel makes my c-section scar feel gross. It doesn't look any different. Whomever is very kindly banging me from behind doesn't even notice. When being spit roasted, nobody cares about a bit of a belly, I know that, but it's my little insecurity and I'm keeping it. I feel quite comfortable wandering naked around a group of complete strangers, just don't put me in a position where I can feel my belly. Same with his socks. He hates his feet. (Just for the record, I think his feet are fine, they don't smell, his toes look normal, he just isn't on friendly terms with them.)

You might get into a conversation with a lovely couple and the husband starts to joke about his balding head. You might think he looks fine, but it's his thing. His wife might confide in you she hates her cellulite, not that you noticed as she's wearing a delightful body-stocking. The young single guy might feel a little anxious about his height, which to you makes no difference if your lying down anyway. These little niggles soon disappear when the actions start. You quickly forget about the wobbles, the balding, the scars... it's just about the moment. As a swinger, you get to see the most real, naked side of a person and it's a welcome distraction from that filtered world of fake smiles and Facebook posts. Our insecurities disappear in the company of like-minded people, we're lucky as swingers, usually sexual or appearance insecurities appear because of the way we think others see us. It's a little bit difficult to hang-on to anxieties when you're busy making someone squirt.

He'll still keep his socks on though.

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